Happy Birthday, Jack!!!

Jack turns 4 today.  These past four years have absolutely flown by…they haven’t always been easy years but our life now is worlds better than it was four years ago.  And I thank God for that.

Life hasn’t always been this peaceful, but Jack has brought a tremendous amount of joy and laughter to my life.  I think I am really going to love 4 — I love that we have real conversations about real things now.  He is developing into a boy and watching him continue to grow and learn is amazing.

At 4, Jack’s current love is Transformers.  Transformers and anything related to them is about as cool as it gets to him.  He is also developing a love for all things nature related — rocks, animals, sharks, dinosaurs, insects, and anything that allows him to be outdoors exploring.

Happy Birthday, Jack!  You are such a joy and I’m so thankful you are in my life.  I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating at Disney World with your father and grandmother.  I miss you today!

And while I’m at it, a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Single Working Mommy, too!  She and Jack share a birthday.  Have a wonderful day!!!

Toobusytoenterianyoutoday

See…I have to write in run-ons because I am so busy today I don’t know what I’m going to do (but it’s certainly not take the time to use the spacebar).  In addition to the 9+ hour day at work I’ve got to put in, I have a LONG list of trip prep stuff to take care of.  That includes, but is hardly limited to: man/ped, returning dress that makes me look pregnant to store, work on the gift bags for the girls (this is a multi-step, multi-store process but since some of them read the blog I don’t want to give anything away), pay some bills (i.e. figure out how much I can blow in Vegas), laundry, pack, etc etc.

So although I miss them terribly and can’t believe I won’t see Jack on his 4th birthday, maybe it is a good thing they’re with their father right now.  (Even if they are experiencing this for the first time without me.)  Because fighting over whose turn it is with the Transformers and arguing about who is currently boycotting all vegetables isn’t what I want to be doing tonight.

Oh, y’all - IAMSOEXCITEDABOUTVEGAS!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Summer has officially begun

And no, not just because the heat index in these parts is hovering around 110.

I know that Memorial Day makes the official start of the summer but to me, tabbouleh marks summer’s arrival.  I only make tabbouleh in summer because it just isn’t any good without really ripe tomatoes. 

Saturday we celebrated Jack’s birthday (it’s actually Wednesday, but he’s with his father now) and I made up a big batch of tabbouleh.  Embarrassingly, it’s all gone already.  (I had plenty of help on Saturday…but I did eat it for breakfast and lunch on Sunday…)

It’s best eaten, in my opinion, with Stacy’s pita chips.  Yum.  Welcome to summer.

They’re gone

These two little loves of mine are gone.  For THREE weeks.  I will be the longest period they’ll be away from me under our custody agreement.  How am I going to be away from those two faces for THREE WEEKS?!?

I’m very sad, very pouty and more than a little mopey ~ But I brought work home with me and am going to throw myself into that now. 

Sniff.  Sniff.

Sob.  Sob.

Please, oh please, Mr. Air Conditioner Repair Man

Earlier in the week, a group of us at work began planning a big happy hour for tonight.  I called Babysitter Numero Uno (a.k.a. my mom) and asked if she could pick the kids up from day care, feed them dinner, etc. so I could attend said event.  She graciously agreed to. 

As the week has gone on, people have been backing out for various (some legitimate) reasons.  Yesterday afternoon we realized it was just me and Mr. Sexy Pants (I swear that’s what we call him.  All of us.  Male and female.  To his face.  Not sure why.  Although it is apt.) who were still planning to attend.

(Imagine the smile on my face right now…)

He’s asked me both yesterday and today in a very flirty way if we (me and him) were still going to go.  I, playing it coy the whole time, said yes.

And then my mother called me at work this morning.  The air conditioning in her house has gone.  And we’re at the beginning of a heat/humidity wave.  So it must be fixed.  And the ONLY time she could get someone to come look at it is between 1pm and 4pm today.  And if they don’t show up until 4 and then it takes a long time to fix…well, Babysitter Numero Uno won’t be able to hook me up.

So please, Mr. Air Conditioner Repair Man, come closer to 1 than 4.  And fix it quickly.  Because I would love to have a happy hour with Mr. Sexy Pants.

Color this, pluck that

Wasn’t feeling the wordpress love last night because it wouldn’t let me post this short missive.  Ugh!  Hopefully it’ll work this time.

Y’all — I’m going to Vegas in a week. 

So today, the beauty prep began.  It’s a careful and precise process on all fronts.  Wax too soon and the hair will re-appear by the time your plane touches down.  Wax too late and (I, at least) will still be red and bumpy.  (Yucky sensitive skin.)  The only thing that can’t be done too late is the man/ped.  The later, the better.

Forgive me if I’m not around much in the next three or four days.  Between the boys’ last day at day care, celebrating Jack’s 4th birthday on Saturday with family, having to work on Sunday (a story for another time), beginning to pack, shipping the boys off to spend 3 weeks with their father and (Oh Lawd!) finding a bathing suit…I’ve got a lot going on.  I’ll be around as much as I can.

But back to beauty: Today was root touch-up (i.e. COVER THE GRAYS!) day.  I put it off about two weeks longer than I should have but I wanted it to look goooood for the big trip.  This weekend I need to squeeze in some waxing time (brow & bikini — we’ll be in swimsuits quite a bit, I imagine…given that our hotel has and 11 acre pool area).

Oh — gotta run.  I see a stray hair I missed during plucking.

Paper Cuts

Not much from me today…am trying to recover from the dozens of paper cuts I received while opening about 70 cards for my birthday yesterday.

It’s not because there are that many people that still send real mail, my friends.  Oh no.  I was opening that many cards because I have a family that’s nuts for milestone birthdays.

I think it began when my aunt (my mom’s only sister) turned 40.  My mother sent her 40 (yes, forty) cards in the mail.  And a tradition was born.  When you hit one of the decade markers (40, 50, 60…) you get that many cards.  Since I was 30, I got 30 cards.  From BOTH my mom and my aunt.  So 60 of my almost 70 cards were from two people. 

I opened cards for a good long while after dinner last night.

What’s really fun about this tradition is that we re-use some of the cards.  A good “Happy 50th” card will get passed from oldest to youngest.  (Through aunts, uncles, step-brothers, etc)  Since I am the oldest grandchild on my mother’s side (the side that participates in this craziness), I got many original 30th cards.  But they will be saved…because my cousins will be there soon enough. 

It was fun to see cards returned to me that I’d sent my aunt and my mom for their birthdays (the generic “you’re getting older” cards, not 30 specific).  And aside from all the paper cuts, I think it’s a great tradition.

30

In celebration of my 30th birthday today, here are thirty things I’m thankful for:

(Both serious and silly.  In no particular order…so don’t go getting your feelings hurt.)

1. God’s grace
2. Jack - my first-born.  The one who made me a mother.  He is so much like is father and yet I still see bits of me (not always the good ones) in him.  There is no one else who gets him like I do and therefore no one else who could love him like I do.
3. Will - my little love.  He has more charm than anyone should and a hold on my heart I never thought possible. 
4. My family - who pulled me back into the fold without question even after the difficult years and strained relationships when I was married.
5. Faith
6. Amy (& her whole family) - far far away from my own family, these friends became my family.  She is my old same.  My day-to-day life through the year+ of the divorce was blessed and possible because of her.
7. Blogging - what began as an outlet for the pain/frustration/loneliness/sadness of the events of January 2007 has become my therapy.  More than once I have laid awake thinking about something, not able to sleep.  But once I put it out there, in blogland, my mind is eased.  I love it.  Thank you for reading.
8. Flip Flops
9. Real Simple magazine
10. Friends who never ever judge - they may offer advice and worry about you but no matter what…they never judge you (You know who you are — Thank you!  Love you!!)
11. Third Beach
12. Popcorn - if I had to pick one food that was the only thing I could eat for the rest of my life…this would be it.  Yum.
13. Alleghany County, NC - as an Army brat, there is no physical place that I call home.  At yet when I am at there, I feel at home.  Something about that place, the air there, the sounds…something makes me feel at home.
14. The freedom America offers (political, religious, of speech)
15. The members of the Armed Services who, throughout our country’s history, have fought for that freedom
16. Sweet tea
17. Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham
18. Sorority sisters - Thanks to KD, I have met and formed the bonds of friendship with women I would otherwise have not met
19. Vegas and my 10 friends who will join me there to help me celebrate my birthday and the freedom of my new life
20. Unlimited long distance plans (you know, for when you best friend lives 6 states away)
21. Single Mom Blogger friends - I have met an amazing group of women (April, SWM, QTMama, SMWTT, Ms Single Mama, Kori, Sparkling Mama – just to name a few!) through our blogs who, as fellow single moms, can offer advice and get it when I’m having those moments/days/weeks. I count some of them as true, wonderful friends
22. Bargain shopping
23. Eating corn and watermelon in the summer (preferably while sitting outside on the deck)
24. My company - they offered me a job when I needed it most (for justification to move from RI) and compensated me very well considering I’d been out of the work force for 3 1/2 years as a SAHM.  And then held that job for me while the court took its time decided to allow me to move
25. A cold beer on a hot summer evening
26. Audio books - they make my long commute positively pleasant
27. Guys not intimidated by single moms
28. Knowing that Jack and Will will always have each other, that they will always have their brother when the going gets tough
29. Netflix
30. Being able to face the next decade knowing my future is bright, full of possibilites and very, very blessed

Happy Birthday to me.  I am thrilled to be 30.

Girlfriends

I went to see the Sex & the City movie last night — It was, of course, wonderful.  I don’t know if it’s just the mindset I’m in right now (i.e. I’m more cognizant of it) or if the movie focused on it more than the show did…but for me, the movie was more about girlfriends than the men or the sex.  As a result, I must have teared up a dozen times throughout the movie thinking about girlfriends and friendship.  I’m doing it again now.

There was one scene (I’m going to try and word this as to not give anything away in case anyone still hasn’t seen it!) where Carrie is fighting with Big and is very upset.  Charlotte and Miranda are with her, and after yelling at Big, Carrie turns and falls into Charlotte’s arms.  Big tries to keep talking and explaining himself, and Charlotte gets and enraged look on her face and screams “No!” at Big.  There was much laughter at this in the theater — but me, I cried. 

That one word and the look that accompanied it demonstrated the essence of girlfriends.  The fierce protection they offer of us when we need it most. 

I have been blessed with wonderful girlfriends in my life.  Just as in the movie, they each fulfil different needs and play different roles at different times.   The next decade of my life will begin soon, and I know it’s going to be the best yet.  I am thrilled to be there.  And I know that I never would have made it there without my girlfriends.

Longing after Spontaneity

Last night was tough for me.  It was Friday, and I was looking forward to the weekend.  I’m going out tonight with my oldest friend for dinner and a movie (Sex & the City — what else?).  But then last night He Who Makes Me Smile called, and he and our friends who set us up in the first place were getting together.  Throwing some steaks on the grill, enjoying and drink or two and he wanted me to join them. 

Oh, how I wanted to join them. 

But I have two children.  Two children who I love and adore and am to thankful for.  Two children who last night I resented.  Because there is no such thing as spontaneity in relationship (oh wait — we don’t have one of those…) when you have two young children.  I so wanted to hop in the car and drive the hour and see him.  Remember how I like big man arms around me?  I wanted those arms around me last night.  Some affection…some flirting…a kiss (or two).  But it wasn’t going to happen.

I began to resent my life.  And then I got angry at myself for resenting it.  I fought so hard to have full-custody of my children, to be able to move out of Rhode Island with them and there I sat resenting them.  And felt awful about it.  I sat resenting their father who gets to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants.  (Except for every other holiday and 5 weeks in the summer — it’s a tough life.)  

(And then I thought of my single mom friends who never even get that.  And I felt bad for feeling selfish when there are those of you who never — not even for a weekend here and there — get a break.  You are amazing women and I don’t know how you do it.)

He called me before he went to bed and we talked.  He is understanding — He knew about my children before we were set up.  He loves kids.  He wants kids.  But last night the kids were keeping us both from what we wanted.  And it was hard.  But we talked and laughed and told stories.  And I smiled.

I fell asleep after we talked last night with a (slightly rueful) smile on my face.  Because he can always make me smile.