To date or not to date…
8 May 2008 by Liz
This dating thing is hard. I remember is was never really that fun back when I was just out of college and single…but it’s even more not fun now. Although I’ve tried to persuade Kori and another single mom blogger friend (after they emailed me asking for details about the online thing…) to get out there and join me in the match.com quest, it looks like they’re going to just keep living vicariously though my exploits for now.
I think the most overwhelming thing for me is the time commitment it requires. I’m already trying hard to balance work and single-motherhood, and to add to that the dating dimension is proving more challenging than I expected. I feel like, right now at least, I’m not getting a very good return on my time investment.
And, if I’m being honest — I probably am not really putting it all out there because in the back of my mind, I keep hoping Mr. Sparks-a-lot will hurry up and deal with the, uh, baggage in his life so that he and I can explore what might be. But at the same time (how’s this for crazy?), I don’t want him dealing with his baggage just because I may or may not be waiting in the wings. I want him to want the happiness he deserves and I want him to deal with the issues because he wants to, not because I’m wonderful and could make him so much happier. Does that make sense? (And yes, Big Sis Cee, I still day dream about him. Especially while driving to work…my mind wanders to all that could be wonderful about a life with him….sigh.)
I am not looking for a serious relationship in my life right now. I am looking to have fun (you remember — lip gloss and dancing shoes) and live the life of a single woman in her almost-30s (I’ll be 30 in less than 30 days…). But let’s face it — I am a mom first and foremost. Which at this age makes me most unlike all the others out there.
The boys are going to be with their father this weekend, and I’ve got some potential dates in the works from match. I will, as always, keep y’all posted.
(I’m coming back from my hiatus — My reader count is below 50 and I’m blogging before 10pm at night!)
Don’t push it too much. You should only do it if you are having fun. I always enjoyed dating but I never had any luck with the online scene. You will be surprised where and when Mr. Right will happen. I met my husband completely randomly through a coworker who stopped by to see his roommate.
Yep, I will live through you, because I just don’t have it in me. Like I already posted, I suck at dating, I don’t have time for it anyway, and too many other reasons to list. but this post made total sense to me, and I think you are doing what is best for you. I will be here cheering you on from the sidelines!
I think you’re right not to want Mr. Sparks-a-lot to clean up his baggage for you, but for him. That’s too much responsibility to take on, and I’m not a big believer that one person can be the reason for another to change. They have to want it themselves (speaking as the ex of an addict here).
ooh i think its wonderfully girly and daydreamy that you have someone to think of!
as for dating… for me it happened completely out of the blue and i was totally swept off my feet. and i wasn’t going to date at all until damien had finished school and such because he’s such a handful.
i have so landed with my bum in the butter with the glugster.
and i think you’re brave to try online dating!
dating… wow… theres something I havent even thought of. I wish you all the best of luck!!!
Dating is fun. Remember it’s what YOU make of it, ok? And think of all the blogging you can do about it.
I feel like I don’t have the time or energy to date!
I’ll be 30 in September so I totally get it.
Why did I think you were older than me? Maybe because you seem so much more put together and with it than I feel.
Anyway, do what you want, when you want, how you want. And then tell us all about it!!