And so it begins…

Let’s start off by reminding everyone that both my parents (and brothers, aunts, cousins, etc) read this blog, so the really juicy stuff (there’s none yet, don’t worry) will not be featured in the dating updates that are coming your way. 

So thanks to the advice from some of y’all, from some real-life friends and some co-workers, I decided to try match.com.  Just because of the sheer number of people on match it seemed like a good place to begin.  (Patrick — STOP laughing at me.  Seriously.  And the rest of you…you know who you are…stop judging.  How else can someone who has two young kids expect to meet people?  I feel self conscious enough about it, I don’t need your judgement.  Back off.)  My ideal would still be to be set up by friends, but this seems like a good get-your-feet-wet kind of thing.  (And to you friends who have already begun to get those wheels turning…thank you!  I look forward to the introductions/blind dates.)

I quickly began exchanging emails with a few different guys.  One of them asked me for my phone number and asked if I wanted to go out this past weekend.  We had tentatively planned to do something on Sunday.  He called, for the first time, Friday evening.  He called again on Saturday.  I had plans with a girlfriend on Saturday afternoon/evening for a Girls’ Night Out and not only talked to this guy while I was getting ready to leave, but the entire drive up to her house in Maryland. 

By the time I’d gotten to her house, I had figured out that this guy isn’t long-term dating potential.  There isn’t any one thing I can put my finger on that pointed in that direction but I just knew.  But when we ended the conversation on Saturday we said I’d call him on Sunday to firm up plans. 

I discussed this guy at length with my girlfriend while we were out, and decided that he could be Mr. Training Wheels.  I need to get all the first-date-since-my-divorce awkwardness out of the way, and I figure it might as well be with someone I know will just be a short-term let’s-have-some-fun kind of guy.  But then, as my ex is want to do, there was some drama with the drop off time with the kids on Sunday and I had to call Mr. Training Wheels and cancel any plans.  I wasn’t upset about it, and secretly hoped that the nudge might send him on his way.

Oh, but it didn’t.  He texted me a handful of times yesterday afternoon and then called last night.  And we talked again, for a long time.  (Hence my puffy eyes this morning…not enough sleep!)  He wants to go out this week sometime.  I feel eh about the whole thing.  (I don’t know a better way to describe it.)  He’s a nice enough guy, but there isn’t any chemistry there.  No spark.  And if there isn’t any spark after 4 hours of conversation in the course of a weekend, there isn’t going to be.  But I’ll go out with him just to say I’ve done it.  To say I’ve been on a date since my divorce. 

But the real news, my friends, was meeting, by chance, someone that does ignite all the sparks.  And it’s him that I can’t stop thinking about.  Non-stop.  Even while spending lots of time on the phone with Mr. Training Wheels.  He doesn’t have some of the things I thought would be crucial for someone to have that I could be long-term serious with.  He’s got some definite baggage, but in spite of it all, I can’t stop thinking about him.  Because of the way that I met him, I know more about him than I otherwise would.  (Is this cryptic enough for you?  I’m sorry…circumstances require it.)  This guy is fun, attractive, easy to talk to, fun to flirt with, loves kids, wants kids, is good with kids (I’ve seen him in action), and is just a really good person.  But he needs to take care of his baggage.  And in the meantime, I’ll daydream about him.

Edited to add: There is apparently, based on your emails, some confusion.  Mr. Sparks-A-Lot is a friend of a friend and in no way associated with my online dating foray.  Mr. Training Wheels is from match.com.

So there you have it - Not really terribly interesting but it’s a start.  I never imagined how difficult having young children would make dating.  But I need to remind myself that anyone who can’t handle the craziness that sometimes comes with having kids (i.e. having to cancel plans last minute because their father just needed more time for himself, dropped them off early and I didn’t have time to find a babysitter), isn’t someone I want to be with.